Sometimes.

Sometimes I wish I could read your mind.
But then, I wonder if I could handle the truth..

Long December..

I still clearly remember every christmas season when I was a kid. We are very typical Filipino middle class family. We are always complete eh. We always had festive foods I already know food coma means when I was a kid. We had white christmas tree , even Belen outside with lots of coins in the middle to give for every Caroler's (wala sawa tatay ko magbigay Kahit paisa-isa at paulit ulit lang din sila). we even had snow thing we put in our sliding door na korting snowman, even advent candles .and the highlights of my Xmas of course ! Gifts ! Me being the youngest (and spoiled) I always had the biggest and many regalo's than my 2 sibs... But now it's different damn! I haven't experience real Xmas for a long time. They are now miles away from me you know LDR. It sucks really. I have a son now. since my husband is an ofw also. It really makes me sad I really just want him to experience the way i experienced before. Yung completo pamilya. Yung completo na masayang pamilya... 

. . .

Repost;













































I’m not the type of person to give up on someone. Yes, sometimes I get really mad and upset so I need a minute to cool off but I’ll never abandon you. I don’t leave people. And I think that’s why it always hurts so bad when people leave me.

This is good.

"And thinking back on our memories, I was unable to create a clear picture. I hadn't paid attention to the fine details, because I never imagined you not being there - but now you aren't. 

Every so often, I see you and we make small talk almost like strangers. I noticed your dimples when you laugh, and how you run your hand through your hair when you run out of words to say. I have to take it all in, since i know our random moment will end, and I will be left with nothing except the memories. " 

-Excerpt from a book I will never write..

:))

Hala

Hindi lang ikaw nakakaramdam ng "iniwan" . At some point sa buhay ng Tao nakakaramdam tayo na tayo "iniwan".
Iniwan ng mahal natin.
Iniwan ng pangarap.
 Iniwan ng nakaraan .
iniwan ng kasalukuyan.
Iniwan ng ambisyon.
Pero dapat sa pananaw ko move on. Pakalakas Ka!may darating na kasiyahan Kapit lang.

Da - lam - ha - ti

Wow! Mag start ulit Ako mag blog pagka tapos ng sampung taon.. Madami nagbago pero iisa pa rin ang dahilan Kung bakit Ako magsusulat Ito ay Dahil sa kalungkutan ng puso.. Sa mga luha gusto ng pumatak.. Mga luha pumatak na rin Dati. Napiga na rin Dati. bigla aapaw na lang ulit . Hay buhay Sabi nga Nila. Nararamdaman ng puso ang Hirap Ipaliwanag .magkapareho lang ba sila? ang pusong masaya? sa pusong nagpupumiglas na lumuha sa kalungkutan? Sa puso pagod na masira ? sa mga mata Pagod na umapaw at bumuhos  ? Pilit na Pipigain ang dalamhati . Pilit na Pipigain ang sakit ng puso .. Pilit na Pipigain ang mata .para wala na makusot na tubig?wala na makusot na sakit? Wala ng itibok na dalamhati? .. Da - lam - ha - ti , da - lam - ha - ti.. Anim na taong tibok ng puso ko..
Da-lam-ha-ti. Yan na naririnig ko madalas sa gabi pag tahimik na lahat pwera sa ugong ng electric fan. Pero minsan mas malakas pa ang da-lam-ha-ti ni puso kekesa sa number 3 ni electric fan..